Bye 2022

I am literally amazed at how fast this year passed. I am like it was just yesterday a new year came and tomorrow we are at the end of the year. This year was indeed special for me not because it gave me many things but because it gave me few things with great lessons.
At the beginning of this year I lost hope. I felt like this was the end of my life. I couldn't see any happiness or joy coming from any side. All I could see was darkness , emptiness and loneliness. But I didn't give up. I don't know what and how but I kept fighting. I kept fighting for what was right even when no one supported me. I kept fighting for my self respect. I kept fighting for my children. I know this fight will take a lot of time to win. And frankly saying I don't even care about winning anymore. All that matters to me is my mental health which is becoming stable after lot of struggle.

I would often feel like I am inside a deep ocean. There is darkness everywhere. I am scared of swimming and even more scared that I would never find a shore. This year made me realise- even if you don't find the shore keep swimming but don't drown. You shouldn't be scared of trying and failing. You shouldn't be worried about how hard your journey is. All that matters is how strong you sailed through those storms and prevented yourself from drowning.

As they say happiness comes when you least expect. That's what happened this year! I moved from my hometown to my country of birth. I couldn't thank Allah enough for that. He gave me what I wanted and kept praying from a long time. So, what I learned is no matter how much stress you take, you will get what Allah has planned at the right time. For you it might be darkness but Allah knows this darkness is necessary for you to know the value of sunlight! 

So I hope the coming year 2023 would give me what is best for me. Happy new year 2023.....


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You are a mother now

Image
My life completely changed when I saw those two pink lines. He was equally elated. The first thing people started asking me was -" Do you want a girl or a boy baby?" Honestly I didn't want a girl and I had my own reasons for that. I didn't want her to be a show piece whom people would judge. I didn't want her to be a epitome of patience and allow anyone to oppress her. I didn't want her to be a entertainer in the name of marriage. I didn't want her to live her life according to others wish. I didn't want her to cry alone and suffer just because Allah made her different. I didn't want her to be like me!  But Allah had other plans. He blessed me with a girl. The day I saw her, I started crying, I didn't know whether it was out of joy or sadness. I cried my heart out. She was so tiny and the nurse said she was just like me! A relationship between a mother and a child is the purest one on the earth. I started falling in love with her ev
Read more

To live or to die?

Image
You know what's the toughest stage in life? It's when you don't know whether you want to live or die. Your mind is just confused, stuck and blank. Somedays you want to achieve a lot of things in your life and somedays you just don't feel like getting up from bed. You feel like you have no reason to live and no reason to die either! 'You got one life and you need to live it according to your terms!' - I have heard such lines from many life coaches and others. But do we even get to live according to our terms? If you are a woman- then you don't have choice in anything. Even if you are independent, somewhere your life always gets stuck between family and career. Woman are just trained from childhood, trained to be people pleaser. You ate a chocolate without your parents permission, you are a bad girl. You chose black t-shirt- you are bad because your mother likes white. In this cycle, we forget what do we like actually? We eventually start killing o
Read more

True vs Fake

Image
Sometimes grief just eats you up. You feel like crying loudly and tell the world that you can no longer handle it. You are just done with your life. Sometimes you can't even cry and there is a weird sorrow inside your stomach. You can neither vent it out nor let out a cry.  I wonder what has my life turned into. A complete mess! When you think finally things are falling into place, that's when you realise it's beginning of a new obstacle. The only question which remains in my mind is 'Why me?' I never thought that a girl who always excelled in studies will fail in life. Failure never hurts me but the expectations which I keep from people does. I always thought a heart which is truthful can live a beautiful life but that's a complete lie. A liar lives the best life. You should know how to trick and manipulate. But I still haven't learned it yet! I don't even want to!  How do fake people live? I always wonder. Aren't they tired of putting u
Read more