True vs Fake

Sometimes grief just eats you up. You feel like crying loudly and tell the world that you can no longer handle it. You are just done with your life. Sometimes you can't even cry and there is a weird sorrow inside your stomach. You can neither vent it out nor let out a cry. 

I wonder what has my life turned into. A complete mess! When you think finally things are falling into place, that's when you realise it's beginning of a new obstacle. The only question which remains in my mind is 'Why me?' I never thought that a girl who always excelled in studies will fail in life. Failure never hurts me but the expectations which I keep from people does. I always thought a heart which is truthful can live a beautiful life but that's a complete lie. A liar lives the best life. You should know how to trick and manipulate. But I still haven't learned it yet! I don't even want to! 

How do fake people live? I always wonder. Aren't they tired of putting up emotions? Aren't they fed up of themselves for not being their true self? 

Aren't they envious of truthful people?

I cannot answer any of these because I am not the one! 

Maybe oneday I will win this battle! I hope I wouldn't turn fake in the path along!