When they leave.....

When someone very close to your heart leaves this world forever, they just don't leave but take a part of you with them. Nothing remains the same after that. Every morning hits differently. Every festival begins with mourning. Every happiness seems incomplete. Every nook and corner of the house reminds about them.
Sometimes you feel like shutting everything up and disappearing to a place where you couldn't be found. You want to shut all those memories which messes up your life. You know that they will never return back but still your heart yearns for their presence. You still think of all those ifs and buts which could keep them in your life. 

Life becomes worse if the person who left was the one on whom you depended the most. Your happiness was connected to them. You found comfort in them in your sadness. In each step of your life that person was there to hold you and support you. You feel like suddenly someone has snatched the shade. The reality of life slaps you tightly. You don't know where to go for help. All you can see is only darkness and emptiness.

You don't even know how to express your grief. You feel like crying out loudly but tears never come out from your eyes. You feel the void inside your heart and don't even know how to fill it. Your mind becomes chaotic and you fail to find ways to calm it.Nothing remains the same after they leave. I repeat nothing!

"Will I be able to find light?" - I always keep asking Almighty. Maybe someday I might find light but the memories of my father who left me unexpectedly will always follow it. I might find happiness but there wouldn't be that person with whom I shared it first. I might have everything in my life but nothing can replace my Abba's love and care for me. Maybe some people are so good that Allah calls them soon. They are the lucky ones to leave this earth soon but the people who they leave behind have nothing and only tears to shed in their memory! 

May Allah grant my Abba jannathul firdouse! Ameen!


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