REGRET

The nurse had a close look at jenny. It was confirmed that jenny was in her last stage. The nurse thought of calling her daughter, preemie, but she backed off after witnessing the conversation between them the other day.

Jenny opened her eyes and gave a faint smile to the nurse.

“Madam, shall I call your daughter? Wouldn’t you want to meet her?” – spoke the nurse

Jenny was just silent and gestured to call Preemie as soon as possible.

The next morning preemie arrived. She saw her mother peacefully sleeping. For the first time in so many years her eyes welled up.  All those moments of her childhood flashed in front of her eyes. She saw a person who struggled so much and fought against the world for her. Jenny was awoken by preemie’s tears that hit her hand.

Preemie, my child, why are you crying?

“Nothing mamma, you are a fighter. I am really sorry. I couldn’t be a good daughter. Please forgive me mamma” – Preemie (sobbing).

“No dear, you need not be sorry. It’s enough you realized your mistake. My child, never judge anybody in a single meet. People have deep secrets within them. Accept their flaws and live a peaceful life. I am in the last stage of my life and I am happy that you are with me. Please read a letter  which I have kept in the hidden drawer in the cupboard. You will find the keys along with the password under the cot. O my lord, please keep my child happy forever and forgive me for the sadness you went through because of me Preemie” – Jenny spoke for the last time.

“Mamma please don’t leave me alone and go” - Preemie was shattered and in grief.

The last rites were performed. Preemie reached her home .she noticed that nothing changed even though she left the home few months back. The home was incomplete without her mom. Each and every corner of the home reminded her of jenny. She remembered her mom’s last words. She found the keys and got the letter.

She found her mom’s beautiful picture in her 18’s.preemie touched it and sobbed harder. She opened the letter and began to read.

My dear Preemie,

I know by the time you get this letter I would have left this world. I never had the courage to speak up truth. That is the reason I am leaving this letter for you. Preemie you would always ask me, why don’t I have father mamma? And every time a part of me would die when I answered – “your father is dead”.

When you grew up your questions increased. I failed to answer you and died even more. Even though I was a successful cardiologist I was unsuccessful in answering you. I knew that it would be hard for me to live in this cruel world, but still I decided to give birth to you.

Preemie, I was a smart and intelligent girl who was brought up in an orphanage. I passed every examination in school with flying colors. After passing out my metric examination I was given a scholarship to study medicine in a faraway place. I went there to pursue my dreams and ambition. I studied hard day and night and my only motive was to help the needy and orphans.

During my final year, I fell in love with my classmate Ashok. He was simple and well mannered guy. I knew that our relation had no future due to caste differences, but still I continued. That biggest mistake turned my life. On the day of graduation after receiving my medical degree I fainted on the premises. Later on I came to know that I was pregnant with Ashok’s child. By the time I reached out for Ashok he had left the city and even my life. I was shattered and humiliated. I was left with nothing. I tried to end my life but I feared for your life.

I decided to live and give birth to you. I knew that the world would never accept me, but still I wanted you to live. I thought that the best revenge for Ashok’s betrayal was to raise you as a good person.  I left the city and came to this small town where I set up my small medical centre. I worked really hard to bring you up in a good way. I have tried my best to raise you as a jewel. I was never bothered about people’s taunts. I am proud to call you as my daughter.

I hope even you are proud about your mother after knowing the truth. I never wanted anything in return from you preemie. But all I wanted was respect not from people, but from you. Never judge people from their past my child. May Jesus, bless you with all the happiness in your life.

With love,

Jenny

Preemie’s body started trembling. She cried very badly. She was guilty for hurting her mom. Her mind went back to the time few months back where she had fought with her mom and left the home………

Preemie –“I just don’t want to stay with you anymore after knowing the truth”.

Jenny – “Preemie, believe me I have never done anything which would disgrace you”.

Preemie – “Then tell me who my father is? Weren’t you pregnant with me before marriage? Did you love one person and leave him and marry another person? Tell me mom. Who is my father? How many people are there in your life?”

Jenny’s face turned red. Before she knew what was happening she slapped preemie.

“How dare you speak like that with your mom? I have told you your father is dead. How dare you question your mother like this? Did I bring you up to see this day? Listen carefully; My Lord knows that I am a pure soul. I don’t care about anyone and their thoughts. Let the world think what they want. But the sad thing is my daughter believes the world instead of her mother. May God bless you”- Jenny broke down.

Preemie – “How can you feel my humiliation? I am ragged and insulted everyday at the college. It’s all because of you. I can no longer stay with you. I am going and will return after I find your truth”.

Jenny –   “Ok, if you don’t want to stay with me you can go. I won’t stop you. But remember that when you realize your mistake and want to come back it may be too late.”

Preemie packed her bags and left .

Today she felt that her mom, jenny was right. It’s too late and she lost her strong and fighter mom. Few days after she left jenny suffered nervous breakdown and was admitted to hospital. Though she got regular calls from hospital she never bothered to check. In between she settled up with a small job and one day she got a call from jenny’s colleague Mr. Glen. The whole hospital used to spread rumors about Jenny and Mr. Glen of being in a relationship, but the truth was Mr. Glen was jenny’s best friend. From him she came to know that though he proposed Jenny for marriage she rejected his proposal for preemie’s sake. She didn’t want preemie to be called as someone’s step daughter. She promised to stay unmarried for her whole life for her daughter’s sake.  He also broke the news of jenny being in her last stage of life. After knowing the truth she thought of coming.

Preemie held the letter and her mom’s picture close to heart and regretted for her deeds.  She closed her eyes and dreamt of meeting her mom in the heaven and seeking her forgiveness.