The Wedding Album

Six years of being married and as I was glancing through my wedding album I felt a sting in my heart.
Maybe that was the last time I smiled and laughed genuinely.
My eyes shone with many colourful dreams.
The mere thinking of someone would be coming to my life to take care of me and love me like no one did, made me blush.

Every photo had some or the other tale hidden within it. Now, when I look back I realise how wrong I was.

 I never wanted this kind of marriage where compromises were only meant for a girl. 
I didn't want this kind of a relationship were I was being verbally abused for their purpose of entertainment.
I never wanted to be treated like a doormat by the one who promised me to stand by my side for the rest of my life.

Now, I realise that, it was just a deal. My parents wanted me to get married soon so that my younger sibling won't suffer and his parents wanted someone whom they could torture and release all their mental turmoil which they suffered during their times. 

Sometimes I feel like why didn't I stand for myself. Why did I sacrifice my smile, my dreams and my entire life for someone's happiness? Why did I put up in a place where there was no value for my self respect? All these questions don't allow me to live in peace. 

Maybe that's what a girl's life. Especially if she is flawed physically. She isn't wanted by anyone. Nor her parents or any other being on this earth. Just like no one likes to purchase a thing which is defected, same way, no one likes to keep a girl who is physically challenged. Every time when she builds herself the world pushes her down in a such a way that she wouldn't want to stand up again. 

But as time passes, we learn to adjust ourselves accordingly. I learned to become deaf to people who didn't have anything good to say about me. I learned to smile at those who frowned at me. I learned to get up when they pushed me. I learned to live my life the way I wanted. I learned to be happy with myself. 

As I closed the wedding album, many questions came up into my mind. Is there any marriage which is just perfect just like in stories? Is marriage just a relationship where two imperfect people struggle to make each other perfect? Maybe I would need few more years to find answers to these questions! And I would always want to myself again in those pictures of my wedding album.

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