Memories and the Lessons

Life is all about memories. 
Some good, some bad, some weird, some crazy, some sad, some happy and many more.When I was a little girl, I was very sensitive. When someone would talk bad about me, it took me many days to overcome that. But luckily,I had this habit of forgetting any bad memory. I could never remember it again no matter how hard I used to try. I was happy with that because I had no fear of going back to those memories and crying at it.

When I grew up, this habit of mine changed. I started to keep every bad memory within me. There are lot of incidents in my life where I got hurt and learned my lesson too. But the pain which came along got deep into my heart. I couldn't show it to anyone. I started pretending to hide it. I didn't want people to tag me as a weak woman. I pretended to have  that  I DONT CARE attitude.But deep down I was broken. I wanted to cry and complain but I knew it wasn't worth it. By pretending for so many years, I lost myself. I lost the one who was sensitive, naive and innocent. I was  called as rude, arrogant and emotionless. I still maintained  that attitude of mine. 

"Time heals your wounds"- Many told me this. Does time heal those wounds which broke your self respect?
Does time mend those relations  which faked only for their needs?
Does time make you forget those accusations and insults you were hurled on for no fault of yours?
Does time give you back your old self who was once a happy soul?
I don't think time would heal everything. It would heal something but not all. Even if the wound is healed it leaves behind scars. Those scars will sometimes remind you of those bad memories. I tried everything to delete it from my mind. And sadly I don't have that power of forgetting bad memories anymore. Maybe because those bad memories held a special place in my life.
They taught me very valuable lessons which I could use for the rest of my life.
They reminded me that I am not perfect and it's OK to be like that.
They pushed me to such an extent where I thought I couldn't fly but I did and succeeded. 
The most important one is that, they taught me to rely on myself and not others. 

I don't regret remembering any bad memories now. Because those are the ones which made me who I am now-Strong, fearless and difficult. I am happy with those tags! What else do I need more? I am happy with myself and that's what matters the most. 


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