Posts

Colourless Dreams

The sky was her canvas, Her dreams were the colors, She painted till she bled, With colors she wasn't allowed to. They laughed at her canvas, They drained her determination, Her colors were fading off, Into a world she didn't see, She was drowning in her own world, With no one to pull her up! Every color of her had a story, But not everyone wanted to read it. She waited for the one, To hold and love her colors. The wait was over, and the ring slid, from fingers their hearts connected, It was just a beginning of a life, with full of thorns and blood! Yet again her dreams were colored, but not with her colors but choice of theirs. Her dreams lost all the colors, she still chose to live with colorless dream!

My happiness

Image
Lately, I have tried to remain happy and calm as much as I can. It took me a long time to realise that, this life isn't worth worrying about others opnions about yourself. Now, I am guilty of wasting my precious time and tears on people who aren't even worth in the book of my life. So, for whoever has suffered or is suffering like me- always keep one thing in mind, the people who love you would never think of hurting you and the people who hurt you are never yours! Stay away and I would say just cut off. I have got a lot of advices for cutting off people from my life. But, I had already decided that - From now on, I would live my life according to my terms and conditions not according to society and their needs! Trust me I am happiest one for removing the closest people who weren't healthy for my mental. My happiness was inside me. The thing was I saw only the darkness and forgot that there is always a window open to the light. I kept passing down in that darkne...

When they leave.....

Image
When someone very close to your heart leaves this world forever, they just don't leave but take a part of you with them. Nothing remains the same after that. Every morning hits differently. Every festival begins with mourning. Every happiness seems incomplete. Every nook and corner of the house reminds about them. Sometimes you feel like shutting everything up and disappearing to a place where you couldn't be found. You want to shut all those memories which messes up your life. You know that they will never return back but still your heart yearns for their presence. You still think of all those ifs and buts which could keep them in your life.  Life becomes worse if the person who left was the one on whom you depended the most. Your happiness was connected to them. You found comfort in them in your sadness. In each step of your life that person was there to hold you and support you. You feel like suddenly someone has snatched the shade. The reality of life slaps you ...

What's in the name?

Image
Every child is being named beautifully by their parents. As for me,I was named by my mother. When I got my senses I didn't like my name much. I always used to ask my mother why did she give me such a not so good sounding name! And she used to say, 'I like that name and there will be a day when you will like your name too!  Then in school and college my best friend trimmed my name from Rishana to Rishu. It sounded terrible to me! But she didn't back off. Well then, I had no other way to accept that name!  I used to always dream about how would my name sound like from my life partner. It sounded beautiful when he called me by my name for the first time. But it was short lived. As years passed on, my name faded away. I became someone's daughter. I was called by someone's wife. I was addressed as someone's mother. I was never called by my name. My mother was right, I had started liking my name at this point in my life. I wanted someone to call me by my n...

Happy woman's Day

Image
Today, 8th of March is marked as international woman's day. Like every other day this day too passes away. Some celebrate and some don't. Everyday is a woman's day for a woman. She doesn't rest. She works tirelessly without any payment. She isn't even appreciated for what she does. Her work is always looked down. If she is a home maker she is considered as useless and if she is a working woman she is considered as proud.  Whatever a woman does she is always judged.  What makes me sad is it's always a woman who destroys another woman. We don't support each other be it in any field. We may have passed through that phase but still we judge. I don't know why it happens. A woman knows about how difficult carrying a child is yet she judges other woman and  make their life difficult. A mother knows the struggle to raise a child yet she comments about our child's appearance and judge another mother. A mother in law knows how difficult it is for h...

He left......

Image
Every time when I saw his face and smile, I didn't even imagine that there would come a day when he would leave me and go. For me it was something which I considered as unbearable and unfathomable. Maybe because I was never ready to accept the reality. That reality which scattered and shattered my life. We think we have so many tomorrow's coming our way, but the real thing is our present is a big question mark.  We may have so many unsaid words to say. We may have so many dreams to live. We may have so many relations to cherish. We may have so many regrets to live with. We may have so many many things to do. But we don't have the so called tomorrow which we keep waiting for! They say," He left and one day we all too will live this world." They are completely right in some sense.   But, how do I accept that he is gone?  How do I accept that he couldn't fulfill his promise of coming back? How do I accept that I would never be able to live under his s...

My shadow

Image
The day came to an end and my work too! The set of this day's responsibility ended with worry of next day's work. Every night when I lay down I wonder how much I have changed in these three years. There were days when I enjoyed doing everything but now everything feels like a burden. The relationship which was everything for me is now just a name sake ship which keeps sailing without any destination. Sometimes I laugh at myself for being so stupid and naive. I thought , if you give love you'll receive love.  If you give respect ,you'll recieve respect. If you do good, you'll be treated good. But none of these is true. You will always be taken for granted. In fact no one wants to even acknowledge that you are a human being too who not only needs food, water and shelter but also love , respect and care. Why didn't I live for myself? I always keep thinking about it. Maybe because I was so busy finding my happiness in others who never deserved my love. I...